Hidden Meanness
One of the problems that I am seeing more frequently than ever in Democratic politics is a hidden meanness. I was finally able to put a name on it when I got a robo-call from Claralyn Hill. She's a Democrat running for State Representative here in Utah. But it took a lot of digging to find that out. It is not prominent anywhere on the main pages of her site, but I suspected it simply because she does not mention her political affiliation. Check under "Links" and then you find a link to the Utah Democratic Party Platform
Later in the week I got a flier from her with the tag line "Vote the Person". This sounds nice at first: I don't vote straight party ticket, and I think everyone should always read the information and promises of each person before voting and vote on each person individually. But assuming that I vote the party and trying to convince me not to is a hidden meanness: at the outset she is being condescending to me and my neighbors.
Now I assume she is a generally nice person. I'm not certain, but I think her husband was in my Stake Presidency a while back. I never really knew him, but I never heard anything negative either. In fact, I do not assume that Democrats are evil or mean people, either. I have a lot of the same values as they do, especially when it comes to our need to care for the poor. However my key difference is that I do not believe that having the Government do it is helpful for the poor: private charities do a much better job every time.
Now, I believe that Barack Obama is engaging in the exact same kind of meanness. He keeps saying that we all need to come together (sounds nice), but that Republicans are being divisive (meanness). How can he bring us to the table when he believes that we are divisive from the outset? Why is it that "shame" is used so heavily to try and accomplish things?
Now, this is the tricky part, because it is hard for me to see each time it happens to me, but it happens. People say one thing, while being guilty of that exact thing at that moment. I was having a discussion with a friend of mine about a month ago. She said she wanted the political process to be more civil without talking about how "evil" or "wrong" the other side is. She also wanted people to actually learn something from the process of political talk and she believes that isn't happening. And yet, implicit in her remarks was a belief that I am evil and wrong for listening to talk radio, and that I am somehow stupider for it.
I tried to ask her if she believe I am stupid or evil for listening to talk radio, and she of course said no, but she got angrier as she said it. I immediately told her that I have learned a lot from talk radio, and that I get information from a lot of sources. In fact, talk radio has taught me how to think. She immediately retorted that she does not need anyone else to tell her what to think.
It was getting late, and I could see she was agitated, and I did not want to make it worse, so I just dropped the conversation. However, it took me another day before I realize how angry I got at her comments. Particularly because of how hypocritical she was being: In her assumption of me not being well-informed, being told what to think, and being "evil" for having the opinions I do. This secret meanness is something that people are relying on more and more. They make me feel guilty for something I have not done. They make me feel guilty for something that I might do to offend them. Little do they realize that they have done something to offend me. I may be a little slow with my wit, but I know when I am being manipulated.
It even happened to me once in a Biology class at BYU. In that class, the teacher had us read a bunch of papers about environmental problems and solutions and then he had us write a paper about them. All the solutions sounded nice and reasonable, and when I started writing my paper, I was in conformance with those papers. However, as I thought a lot more about those solutions I realized how much people would be loosing from them, and how they did not consider why our current economic system has moved to where it is and how it blesses millions of people every day. I realized that these author's suggestions would actually be harming millions as a result. And so I discarded my first paper and rewrote it accordingly.
With that second paper, I was very lucky: the teacher did not grade it, his TA's did. I actually got a comment about how it was the best paper the TA had read, even though it went completely against the environmental statements the teacher had made.
Standing up for my beliefs will not always work out (my friend has yet to talk to me after our conversation a month ago), but I am steadily learning how to recognize hidden meanness. I don't yet know how to articulate it quickly, or how to respond to it, but hopefully I will get better at it as I go on. However, remember this one question as you listen to candidates talk: Are they doing the same thing they are claiming their opponent is doing? I always see the hypocrisy when I finally get around to asking myself that question.